Codependency, as defined by Melody Beattie in her landmark book Codependent No More, is a behavioral pattern in which individuals become excessively reliant on others for emotional validation, approval, and self-worth. Codependents often prioritize the needs of others over their own, neglecting their own well-being in the process. This can lead to enabling behaviors, such as rescuing or controlling others, while sacrificing one’s own needs and desires. Beattie emphasizes that this pattern often results in diminished self-worth, difficulty setting healthy boundaries, and emotional exhaustion. Codependents may feel trapped in relationships where they are unable to recognize or address their own needs, leading to feelings of anxiety and chronic self-neglect.

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Pia Mellody, in her book Facing Codependency, expands on the origins of codependency, tracing it to childhood experiences in emotionally neglectful or dysfunctional family environments. These early life experiences teach individuals to suppress their own needs in order to gain approval or avoid conflict. As a result, they develop emotional patterns that persist into adulthood. Mellody argues that codependent behavior is a learned response to emotional abandonment, and recovery involves breaking free from these ingrained patterns. Key to healing from codependency is learning to reconnect with one’s authentic self, developing emotional autonomy, and establishing healthy boundaries.

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If you're struggling with codependency or seeking to establish healthier emotional boundaries, therapy can guide you through this transformative healing process. Therapy can empower you to reclaim your sense of self, rebuild emotional independence, and cultivate stronger, healthier relationships.